It’s been a while since I’ve hit publish on this platform. The last month has been filled with so much change that I thought I would write a short update. I am moving to New York City. I really don’t think it’s hit me yet, and while there are certainly moments of panic, I am confident that God will provide during this season of my life–just as he has the past twenty-two years. They don’t tell you when you start college that the moment you graduate almost everything changes. I am certainly not an expert on all things “growing up” but I have noticed these things about my life in the past few years and certainly the last few weeks since graduation.
Comparison is the thief of joy: April rolled around and I still didn’t have a job. I thought I was completely qualified and deserving and yet I found myself anxiously scrambling, thinking I would have to move back in with my parents, and get a part time job (although that probably wouldn’t have been too terrible, my pride thought otherwise). I spent hours on LinkedIn perfecting my profile and stacking up my resume to my peers. When my friends started getting job offers, I feigned happiness but inside I was jealous and doubtful that I would ever have something to be excited about. But right then, I heard God telling me to let go, to let Him do the heavy lifting and to just keep working away diligently, and so I did. With reluctance at first, I waved my white flag and I waited for God to win the battle, and when I did, He was faithful. A few weeks later, I got an amazing job offer in New York City doing exactly what I want to do. Patience is something I am going to have to learn in my adulthood. But He has proven to me that patience ultimately yields reward. God was telling me to wait so that I could be truly blown away by His faithfulness. I know this will be true many more times in my adult life and so I am practicing patience and reliance on a God who loves me and who wants the best for me if I seek and trust in Him.
Every decision you make is a choice: Who you stay friends with, what you do on the weekends, and what you choose to spend money on, is all a choice. No one is going to tell you what to do and how to do it anymore. You can choose to be late to work if you want, or you can choose to work overtime. This is one thing I think people have wrong about growing up. They think being an adult means no more freedom but in fact, I think you have more freedom than you ever have. It’s whether or not you view that freedom as a luxury or as a burden that makes the difference. Choose to work hard and diligently. Choose to use the skills and talents God has gifted you with to your full ability. Choose not to complain but to find joy in every circumstance as an opportunity to grow and learn. Although this is all easier said than done, your mindset and mentality is all a choice.
Sometimes you have to give things up: This past month I have unplugged. I have put down my phone, deleted my snapchat, and even unsubscribed from emails about deals, sales, and promotions. The truth is, this little act of being more present has made me appreciate my parents, siblings, and life so much more. In a couple days, I am on my own. Yes, my parents will probably still pick up the tab when they come into the city to visit or when I come home for the holidays, but the truth is from here on out, it’s up to me to provide for myself financially, physically, and spiritually. As much as this scares me, I am also really excited for this time in my life. I cannot wait to see the ways in which God is going to grow me by causing me to be dependent on Him.
All that being said, I have decided to move on for now and stop publishing content here. While Always A Clothes Call has been a huge part of my life over the past three years, it is certainly not where I find my identity. I have enjoyed, in these past few weeks, not thinking about an Instagram posting schedule and constantly researching for new post content. The truth is, my full-time job is exactly what I am passionate about and I am excited to devote myself creatively to that. I am so thankful for this community and I hope all of you who constantly email me, continue to come to me because I have loved getting to hear your stories and find out what inspires you. For now, I plan on pursuing God, and my career. Thank you again for everything this platform has brought me. Who knows maybe someday I’ll be back here. I do know that for now, I am moving in a new and different direction.